Take your child to the award-winning Vile Way Nursery, it’s the best you can do for them. And you want only the best for them, don’t you?
All educational materials used are our intellectual property. Sharing or studying without the prior written permission of CEO is strictly prohibited. This includes fairy tales, nursery rhymes, coloring sheets, games, toys and the layout and the likeness of the nursery estates. For the avoidance of doubt, at-home singing of the nursery rhymes your child learnt in the nursery is not permitted.
All doodles, writings, drawings, paintings, songs, words, utterances and any other forms of self-expression produced by your child while in attendance become intellectual property of the nursery. For the avoidance of doubt, this includes the time when the child is off-premises, for example, at home or on holidays. All your child’s learnings which happened while in attendance, e.g. how to use toilet, are an intellectual property of the nursery.
Be assured that it’s worth it! Our award-winning nursery is opening up prestigious exclusive bright perspectives for your child. We are a feeder to prestigious exclusive award-winning Cantbridge Community College, which in turn feeds children to the award-winning exclusive prestigious Cantbridge University, a member of elite prestigious award-winning exclusive Harold Group. As you know some jobs list a requirement of higher education from Harold Group, which makes perfect sense because what they teach can’t be learned outside as it’s based on Harold Group universities’ tightly controlled intellectual property.
In our corporation we are very humane and take our whole selves to work, so if you have any inquiry, you can contact our Revenue Aquisition Team at vilewaynursery@third-world-sweatshop-callcenter.com. Requests must sent between 10am and 12am and will be handled within 90 business days.
All our minimal-wage employees taking care of your child have been carefully vetted. They have been DBS-checked, which means two unknown strangers allegedly have stated that they are an OK person - this is the single top industry practice for keeping bad people from physically accessing children.
Please contact our Human Resources Controller to submit any complaints about employees behaviour. (Our business culture, structure, processes and policies are based on best industry practices so don’t bother complaining about these.)
Make the right step and make your beloved child get ahead in a lifetime of competition for ultra-scarce exclusive prestigious elite education, job and housing markets!
You forfeit the right to sue us, to the extent permitted by law.
Vile Way Nursery is a trading name for Dull Faceless Unrecognizable Finance Asset Management Company Ltd