Customer Optics Manager

Job title: Customer Optics Manager

Are you looking to make a galaxy-scale impact to the shareholder value?

Do you like to help real people (to keep living with the pain we cause them)?

We are looking for an A-Team player to add to our new Customer Optics division! (The old one has just been laid off.)

At AInitech, we are a family - we will encourage you to grow dependent on us for all your needs, but in return, you have to obey and know your place even if you disagree.

We’re big on ethics - your manager will give you a corrective talk and make a dossier record every time you go against our corporate ethics.

As a fungible part of Customer Optics team, you will make our strategic customers suspend their disbelief of the delivered value, RoI, contract fulfillment and even legality of our enterprise. Your selfless hard work will ensure our corporation meets all the self-inflicted challenges. You will routinely put your professional reputation and dignity on the line to save and win the customers who are repulsed from our lack of consideration, ossified dysfunctional organizational structure and persistent cost-cutting.

We offer some of the best perks for our best talent - we grant outsourced mental support service, so that when your sense of normality is shattered, you fall deeper into despair with the realization that you are unable to cope on your own with the psychical damage you accumulate in our workplace, and so that you have to comply with advice of salaried strangers who bear no personal responsibility for your future. But don’t wait for the bad to happen - you should use the mental support facility proactively as it will be positively reflected on your evaluation.

We are an equal opportunities employer - we deprive of opportunities people of all walks of life, without regard to their religion, marital status etc, without regard to even business needs, job requirements and individual qualifications.

We are remote-friendly: all meetings happen on Zoom! We are cool if you work from home, you just have to show up in office 5 days a week for the core hours of 9:00 - 23:00. This is so that your colleagues get to know you as a real person as you all go to different meeting booths to use Zoom.

We are feedback-heavy company - you will receive plenty feedback from your manager, and your execs will regularly elucidate the corporate vision by extensive war metaphors.

Please send your CV, 3 references to previous managers who hate you, your high school exam scores and an essay “Why I most want to work for AInitech”.